Dear Children Who Are {Finally} Fast Asleep,

I was thinking today about how lucky you are. About how you have an amazing dad who loves you beyond anything you can currently imagine. You each have a strong relationship with him and I truly couldn’t be more happy about it.

Throughout today I have thought too about another father, our Father in Heaven, who also loves you more than anything. I read something today by Gretchen Saffles that I loved and wanted to share with you:

“You have a Heavenly Father who is completely perfect, loving and kind…He is the Father who sees every tear you have ever cried and holds them in a bottle (Psalms 56:8). He is the Father whose love is like an unbreakable cord that holds your life together. He is every bit of good, forgiving, loving and true. He never breaks a promise and He never leaves your side. He’s a good, good Father, and He loves you fervently (and your earthly dad, too).”

I want you to know you can build a strong relationship with Heavenly Father, just like you have with Dad. Learn about Him and pray to Him. I know He is there. You can know that too.

All My Love,

Mom

Dear Precious Little People of Mine,

A few weeks ago our daffodils bloomed in the front yard and it felt like spring was here to stay. The whole neighborhood seemed to be outside enjoying the sun.

The next morning we woke up to this.

It’s actually not that unusual where we live for it to snow after the first spring flowers have bloomed. It didn’t come as a huge surprise. But that morning it got me thinking about life.

I will tell you there have been a few times in my life when I felt like one of those daffodils. Times when things were going well, life was moving along and out of nowhere something heavy threatened to crush me completely. Times when I didn’t believe I was strong enough to stand the weight any longer. Times when I wasn’t even sure I could say there were sunnier days ahead.

But guess what? In all of those times when my burdens felt too heavy to bear, spring DID come to stay. The heavy snow melted and I survived (and really, became all the better for it).

When you find yourself in this kind of situation, when you feel hopeless or helpless or lost, wondering how you even got there, rather than asking “Why me?” try to look at it as an opportunity to come closer to Jesus Christ and your Heavenly Father. Ask them to teach you, strengthen and sustain you. Look for the blessings and as Jeffrey R. Holland said, “Don’t give up…Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead…You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.”

All My Love,

Mom

“What should you be looking for in your own life? What are God’s miracles that remind you that He is close, saying, ‘I am right here’? Think of those times, some daily, when the Lord has acted in your life—and then acted again.” –Ronald A. Rasband

Dear Punkin Pies,

I want to tell you about the first time I knew Heavenly Father was watching out for me. I remember it well for a couple of reasons–as a ten year old I was traumatized by serious embarrassment and also because it taught me about my personal relationship with my Heavenly Father.

One Saturday morning my dad and I set off on a great bike adventure through the streets of Millcreek, Utah. It was the first time I would be riding somewhere other than my own little neighborhood and I felt pretty grown up about it all. We had ridden close to 3 miles when we turned onto the street where one of my aunts and uncles lived. All the little houses looked the same to me and I was searching with my head turned to the left to figure out which house was theirs. When I turned my head back to look straight ahead, I saw the car and there was no time to swerve.

I ran right into the back of it.

It would be an understatement to say I felt stupid. I was absolutely mortified! Who hits a PARKED car?!

We got off our bikes and checked out the car. Miraculously we didn’t see a scratch on it. I wanted to get out of the neighborhood as fast as possible because someone had to have seen what I did and were probably chuckling behind their curtains.

I hopped back on my bike and tried to pedal but something was wrong. As I tried to figure out why the pedals weren’t moving right my dad said, “Lauren you’re bleeding!”

I remember walking my bike toward the curb.

I remember sitting down on the sidewalk and looking at my shin–blood, fat (which I told my dad looked like intestines coming out of my leg 😂) muscle and bone.

I remember screaming “I don’t want stitches!”

I remember a lady coming out of her house to give my dad a kitchen towel to stop the bleeding and a phone to call for help. At some point he thought I was going into shock so he made me lay down.

I remember him calling Grandma Hague, who lived less than a mile away (maybe that was our final destination, but I don’t remember). While we waited for her to come to our rescue, some other help showed up–my very own knights in shining armor…only these knights were behind the wheel of an ambulance. And wore paramedic uniforms. We hadn’t called them, and yet there they were, driving slowly down this little street. Two of them hopped out and asked if they could help. My dad said we were waiting for our ride but that it would be great if they had something to wrap my wound until I could get to the hospital. Not only did they give us something to wrap my leg but one of those paramedics cleaned me up and wrapped up my leg himself.

The wait for rescue was much more bearable with my leg wrapped up. When we got to the hospital I didn’t want to tell anyone how it had happened. I still couldn’t believe I had hit a parked car. I ended up with six stitches.

Weeks later I remember telling my aunt and uncle the whole story during a Sunday dinner. My aunt said with wide eyes, “An ambulance was just driving by? On OUR street?”

So, my cute kiddos, some people might call this just a coincidence, that an ambulance was driving down a tiny side street in Utah at the same time a little girl was crying on the sidewalk with a huge gash in her leg. I call it my own little miracle.

Would I have been okay if the paramedics hadn’t driven by? Yes. I would have gone to the hospital and gotten stitches anyway. But I believe that day Heavenly Father wanted to show me that He knows me. And He also prepared me to acknowledge His hand for future miracles in my life.

I learned that Heavenly Father knows me. He knows when I get hurt, when I feel embarrassed and when I need help.

I learned that even when I do stupid things Heavenly Father can lift me–emotionally and physically–out of those situations.

I learned that one way Heavenly Father blesses His children is by inspiring others of His children to be in certain places at certain times.

I learned that Heavenly Father will sometimes send help, even when I haven’t asked for it, because He loves me.

Watch for miracles in your own life, cuties. They will always be there, because He always is there.

All My Love,

Mom

Dear Cuties of Mine,

While Squirt and Sparkles were at school today there was a bit of a battle going on here at home. Sport was eating lunch and Stink was sleeping when it all went down. I want to tell you about it because I know you are going to have similar battles of your own. And when those battles come you will have to fight too.

It started at the kitchen table. I was eating some leftover soup and reading a talk on meekness by David A. Bednar. It was a great talk with examples from scripture about reactions. I have been thinking a lot about my own reactions lately and when I read this part, “Meekness is a defining attribute of the Redeemer and is distinguished by righteous responsiveness, willing submissiveness, and strong self-restraint,” I felt right away it was a quality I should really work on.

Then the doorbell rang. I snapped out of my highly motivated moment and as I walked around the house showing the bug guy where to spray, this thought went through my head:

You are ANYTHING but meek…you couldn’t possibly develop THAT quality.

The thought stayed there for a minute or two and then I started replaying the times I was less than meek when you guys were acting completely possessed while we tried to make it through a doctor appointment or when one of you pinched the other for the five hundredth time. I even momentarily considered reading other talks and picking a more “doable” trait to work on.

Thank goodness it didn’t take long for the Spirit to swoop in and set me straight:

Of course YOU (on your own) can’t become more meek.

But with the help of Jesus Christ and his Atonement you absolutely can.

Really, that is the ONLY way.

I sat back down to finish reading the talk and of course it affirmed what the Holy Ghost was teaching me, “[Meekness] can be received and developed in our lives because of and through the Savior’s Atonement.”

What is crazy is, I knew that. I KNOW that. But sometimes I let Satan creep in and tell me lies and I believe them.

Satan will tell you lies, my kiddos. Maybe he already has. The good news is we can be saved from these lies by the truths the Holy Ghost will tell us. I am grateful today for the gift of the Holy Ghost, who turned it all around and reminded me that I can change, even though sometimes I feel like a caterpillar who can’t believe it’s possible to ever become a butterfly.

Weaknesses can become strengths.

Battles can be won.

Caterpillars do become butterflies.

All My Love,

Mom

Only the adversary, the enemy of us all, would try to convince us that the ideals outlined in general conference are depressing and unrealistic, that people don’t really improve, that no one really progresses. And why does Lucifer give that speech? Because he knows he can’t improve, he can’t progress, that worlds without end he will never have a bright tomorrow. He is a miserable man bound by eternal limitations, and he wants you to be miserable too. Well, don’t fall for that. With the gift of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the strength of heaven to help us, we can improve, and the great thing about the gospel is we get credit for trying, even if we don’t always succeed.”

–Jeffrey R. Holland

My Dear Little Darlings,

Dad went to a special meeting a few weeks ago while I stayed at home with you.  During the meeting our church leaders talked all about family history.  It was perfect timing because this topic has been on my mind after attending Light Keepers.  Dad came and shared this quote with me:

“There are three deaths. The first is when the body ceases to function. The second is when the body is consigned to the grave. The third is that moment, sometime in the future, when your name is spoken for the last time.”
― David Eagleman, Sum: Forty Tales from the Afterlives

We just cannot bear the thought of our ancestors going through this third death!  We have to do something.  So, every Monday night as part of Family Home Evening we are going to share something about one of our ancestors.  Could be tidbits about them or a funny or inspiring story.  Anything really, just to keep their stories alive.

Our first Monday night we had Gigi over to tell us about Grandma Ann, someone you and I were never able to meet (and who Squirt got her middle name from!).  Gigi told us about how she grew up in Richfield, Utah and that her dad was the mayor there.  She told us about how Grandma Ann liked tiny things and she would have a tiny vase on her table with tiny flowers in it.  She was a wonderful hostess who loved serving her family when they came to visit.  Gigi even brought some of her favorite candies–Hickory Farms Mini Melt Away Mints–for us all to try.  I felt a greater love for Grandma Ann while Gigi told us about her and I think you did too.

We hope this new tradition will become a blessing for you.  Our ancestors have so much to teach us.  Learning about them can teach us a bit about ourselves too.

All My Love,

Mom

“Never suppress a generous thought.”  –Camilla E. Kimball

Dearest Munchkins of My Heart,

Here’s a little story I will never forget about me, Dad and a piece of paper.

It started the way a lot of mornings seem to start around here.  Dad was getting ready for work, the girls were getting ready for school and I was busy worrying about laundry and dishes, carpools and grocery runs, packing lunches and making dinner, gospel study and lesson prep (and all the surprises that could pop up!).  Like every other morning, I wrote down a list of things that needed to get done and left it on the counter.

Everyone was ready to get in the car and as I was passing my list I glanced down and saw someone else’s writing at the bottom of the paper.  Great, I thought, one more thing I need to do today.  But when I took a closer look I immediately started to tear up.  Dad had written “Be amazing” on my list and had checked it off, the first check mark of the day.

It is hard to explain how this little, five second kindness changed EVERYTHING for me.  Right then and there I knew that no matter what I did or didn’t get done that day, Dad thinks I am amazing.  And it reminded me that Heavenly Father thinks so too.  It has taken some mental work, but since that morning I don’t measure my day’s success in check marks anymore and my value isn’t determined by what I’m able to accomplish.  My value comes in who I am and whose I am.  Dad probably doesn’t realize what a gift he gave me that morning or that it has affected me so profoundly.  It didn’t only affect me in that single moment or in the hour after.  It affected me much longer than the rest of that day and that week.  What he wrote affects me even now, three months later.  I expect the sight of those two words “Be amazing” with the check mark next to them will stay with me forever.

Dad’s kindness reminded me of a story told by Bonnie D. Parkin at a BYU devotional about Camilla Kimball (wife of Spencer W. Kimball):

“I’d like to begin with a story.

My daughter-in-law’s mother, Susan, was a wonderful seamstress. President Kimball lived in their ward. One Sunday, Susan noticed that he had a new suit. Her father had recently returned from a trip to New York and had brought her some exquisite silk fabric. Susan thought that fabric would make a handsome tie to go with President Kimball’s new suit. So on Monday she made the tie. She wrapped it in tissue paper and walked up the block to President Kimball’s home.

On her way to the front door, she suddenly stopped and thought, ‘Who am I to make a tie for the prophet? He probably has plenty of them.’ Deciding she had made a mistake, she turned to leave.

Just then Sister Kimball opened the front door and said, ‘Oh, Susan!’

Stumbling all over herself, Susan said, ‘I saw President Kimball in his new suit on Sunday. Dad just brought me some silk from New York . . . and so I made him a tie.’

Before Susan could continue, Sister Kimball stopped her, took hold of her shoulders, and said: ‘Susan, never suppress a generous thought.’”

I love this story and I say the same to you.

NEVER SUPPRESS A GENEROUS THOUGHT.

Satan will try to talk you out of generous thoughts.  He will try to get you to ignore the thought altogether.  He’ll plant seeds of doubt about where the thought came from, or fear in your heart about doing something out of your comfort zone or make you believe that someone else is better equipped to reach out.  He will tell you you’re too busy, or he’ll find something to distract you, to focus your attention somewhere else.  He may even try to persuade you that certain people don’t need or deserve kindness.  There are lots of ways he’ll try to get to you, but I will tell you this:  We can’t afford to let him stop us.  There are too many people all around us who could use a lift–a friendly smile, a nice note, a big hug, a listening ear.

If into your mind pops a generous thought about something you can do for your sibling,

or your parent,

or a neighbor,

or a stranger,

for a friend,

or even for an enemy,

JUST DO IT.

Whether it will take five seconds, five minutes or five hours, DO IT.

You won’t regret it.

I never have.

Remember, even just 5 seconds can change everything.

All My Love,

Mom

Photo Credit: Craig Dimond

Hey My Little Rays of Sunshine,

Today all the congregations in our area met together for a stake conference.  We had to get to the church early, so we could sit on the soft seats.  I was busy wrestling Stink and digging deep in my bag to find the Goldfish crackers when Dad whispered loudly to me, “Lauren!  Look!”  I looked up at the screen (the meeting was being broadcast to our church building from another building up the street) and noticed the people were all standing and looking toward a door on the right.  Walking through the door was President Russell M. Nelson with his wife, Sister Wendy Watson Nelson.

I am not sure you kids fully grasped how special this moment was.  On the way home Dad and I told you that it was a once in a lifetime kind of thing to happen.  Sometimes at these stake conferences there will be a visiting general authority, like a member of one of  the Quorums of the Seventy.  Once in a while a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles will be there.  But the President of the Church!  That is something else!

Since the meeting ended I’ve been wondering what you would remember about this day.

Will you remember how there was an immediate excitement and at the same time a deep reverence that came over the congregation when President Nelson walked through the door?

Will you remember how he asked the children to stand up and sing the first verse of I Am A Child of God to him?

Will you remember that he talked to the parents about the important things we should be teaching you?

Will you remember the tears your mama was crying as he left a blessing over us all?

Will you remember the spirit you felt as he left the meeting while We Thank Thee O God For a Prophet was being played?

Did you even feel it?

I hope you did.

We have been blessed today.

All My Love,

Mom

To My Slumbering Munchkins,

You are sleeping now.  And I am sitting here with a million thoughts in my head knowing that I have to get them out before I go to bed.  Also, I am exhausted.  (Last night one of you tossed and turned and eventually threw up AND it was daylight savings…shouldn’t there be a rule against those happening at the same time?)  Anyway, I’ve been thinking and I need to share before I join you in dreamland.

The Sabbath day has been on my mind.  A lot.  My last two lessons to the women at church have been on the Sabbath and I will be teaching two more of them before being assigned a new topic.

In the past I’ve fallen into a category of people who cringe just a little at the thought of another Sabbath day lesson (because I have never felt like I have done it quite right).  During those lessons my mind would quickly focus in on all the things I was doing that maybe I shouldn’t have been and then to the things I should have been doing but wasn’t.

But here’s the thing.  The Sabbath day has grown into so much more than a list of dos and don’ts.  I know for you kiddos it can feel that way.  There are things we do during the week that we don’t do on Sunday, but there is a reason for it.  I could write pages and pages on what I am learning about the Sabbath, but for today I just want to tell you 3 reasons why the Sabbath has become so important to me.

MY BODY NEEDS THE SABBATH

Time is flying by faster and faster the older I get.  One week blurs into the next and before I know it it’s Christmas again!  Many nights of the week my sleep is interrupted by one (or sometimes two!) of you and then I still try to get up early to read my scriptures and exercise before the day starts.  Once you’re all awake it is a mad dash to get lunches packed, hair done, teeth brushed, homework signed and shoes on.  After carpool drop off and grocery pick up I’m back at home doing laundry, making beds and cleaning toddler messes!  Once school is out there is carpool pick up, homework, dinner and bedtime!  I am grateful for this life and I am NOT complaining.  But I AM TIRED!

My body needs a day to recover at the end of a long week.  (Luckily we have later church this year and I sleep just a little longer than weekdays.  I might even squeeze in a nap!)  The pace is slower than the rest of the week and my body needs that slowness.  It craves that slowness.  I’m forever grateful for that slowness.  God knew our bodies would need physical rest and just like he rested after the creation of the world, he commanded us to rest too.

MY HEART NEEDS THE SABBATH

I have been working on turning my heart outward on the Sabbath–to my ancestors and to those around me.  Just like my body craves the physical rest of the Sabbath, my heart has begun craving the heart to heart connections the sacred time of the Sabbath provides.

Quentin L. Cook said, “For those who are looking for more fruitful ways to observe the Sabbath day as a family, the hastening of this sacred work [family history] is fertile ground.”  The last few Sundays I’ve been reading stories about hard things our ancestors went through.  It has been amazing to feel a closeness to them I haven’t felt before.  My heart physically hurts when I read about their struggles.  When they had faith to keep going my heart is inspired.  I wouldn’t trade coming to know these ancestors for anything.

When it comes to those around me, the Sabbath is becoming a day for me to think about how I can be an instrument in God’s hands during the week.  Spencer W. Kimball taught, “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs.”  I am not perfect at knowing what others need or reaching out to meet needs, but I am trying.  The Sabbath is this sacred time for me to show my willingness to serve God’s children.

MY SPIRIT NEEDS THE SABBATH

It is far too easy to fall into the trap of feeling like I need to be more and do more to be worth anything in this world.  My spirit needs the Sabbath to help me remember WHO I am and WHOSE I am.  I need that sacred time during the sacrament to remember the Savior, Jesus Christ–what He did for me and does for me.  I try to develop my relationship with Christ during the week as well, but I believe this happens in even more profound ways during the sacrament, an actual priesthood ordinance.  I need that sacred time to ask for His help in overcoming my weaknesses and to be reminded that as I look to Him I will have his spirit with me always.

The Sabbath Day is slowly becoming a delight to me.  Sundays don’t always look the same in our family–getting to church is a feat all by itself!  Sometimes there are tantrums or wardrobe arguments.  Sometimes we are late and sometimes I have to stay home from church with a sickie.  But I hope you feel that there is something different about this day.  Something special.  Something sacred.  I hope that you too will come to see it as a day you NEED.  A day you can renew your body, heart and spirit and develop stronger bonds with others–and most importantly with your Savior.  The believing, seeing or knowing these things comes in the DOING.  Have a little faith, make a little effort and you will see your love of the Sabbath grow.

Happy Sabbath my babies.

All My Love,

Mom

 

 

 

 

 

“Stories of our ancestors can bind hearts between generations, increase love and appreciation for those who paved the way, and build our faith.  They are an integral party of family history.”  –Tad R. Callister

Hey Sweet Girl of Mine,

Last Thursday morning I met up with Grammy to go to the Light Keepers event as part of Roots Tech (the biggest family history conference in the world!).  When I climbed in her car she handed me a copy of her aunt Jeri’s life story.   I was thrilled to have my own copy, especially considering that Grammy and I had designed the cover together over a year ago.  During the ride to Salt Lake I thumbed through the book, but didn’t get a chance to read anything until I sat down with you on Saturday night.  We read for a while and when it got late we decided we would stop and read again in the morning.

On Sunday morning we learned a lot about Great Aunt Jeri–she sang in an a capella choir and was a member the Nu Phi Mu sorority.  She loved sewing and attended the University of Utah.  At eighteen years old Jeri’s future looked so bright.  Shockingly, during her second year in college she discovered a lump in her leg which turned out to be bone cancer.  It was believed that the only way to save her life was to amputate her leg and Great Grandma Jarman recorded, “to this [Jeri] would not consent.”  Eventually confined to a bed, Jeri had to be moved into different positions frequently to keep from getting bedsores.  We learned that her seven year old sister (our great aunt Rosemary) felt so helpless, but wanted to comfort Jeri and would write her notes and poems.  One of the poems was included in the book and I slowly deciphered the cursive handwriting while your head rested on my shoulder:

“To Jeri my sick big girl
from Rosemary.
One I love you with all my heart,
Jeri dear it’s you.
And I want to make you glad,
yes indeed I do.
I will help you every day,
smiling as I go.
And I’ll hurry when you call
for I love you so.”

And that is when we wept.

A little girl’s sweet and simple words completely overwhelmed us and we instantly felt a deep love for this ancestor we never were able to know–an ancestor your Grammy was named after.

In an instant our hearts were turned forever (Malachi 4:5-6).

In an instant we remembered that we aren’t the only ones to go through hard things.

In an instant we learned about the abiding love of a family…a family that we come from.

In an instant our hearts were bound both to people we have met and people that we haven’t in a way that is real and meaningful and, well, indescribable.

THIS is what can happen when we seek out our ancestors.  This is why we need to FIND their stories and READ their stories.

And this is why we need to record OUR stories too.

I will never forget that time we wept.

All My Love,

Mom

 

Dear Stink,

I heard you yell “Mama!  Mama!” from your crib this morning long before the sun came up.  There was no question in your mind that I was in the other room, just like always.  You couldn’t see me, but you called my name into the dark and waited for me to come.  Because I’ve always been there, you were sure I would come in to pick you up.

It made me think about our parents in heaven.  We have a Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother who we knew before we came to earth.  We can’t see them right now, but we can feel their love.  They know us individually and are involved in our lives.

Sometimes in life we feel like we are in the dark.  Things might feel confusing or scary and we aren’t sure what to do.  Just know that you can call out to your Heavenly Father and trust that He is there.  He will hear your cries and he will answer them in his own way and time.  In the Doctrine & Covenants 112:10 it says He will “lead us by the hand.”

It takes some faith–some real believing without seeing.  But just like you learned to trust me and your dad, you can learn to trust Him.  And just like you’ve come to know and feel how much we love you, you can come to know and feel of Heavenly Father’s love too.  President Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught this so beautifully:

“…The most powerful Being in the universe is the Father of your spirit. He knows you. He loves you with a perfect love.  God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season—He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him.”

Because He loves you and because you matter to Him, you can call out to him anytime of the day or night.  He will be there for you.  Always.

All My Love,

Mom